Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Mourning the Loss of Your Childhood

On Sunday night, my childhood dog was put to sleep.

I was surprised by how devastated I was by this news. I know it's not strange to care about a pet and it's true that they are apart of the family. But I was shocked by the amount of grief I had over this.

Then I thought about it. And I realized something.

There's more to this than my dog dying (although that is extremely devastating in and of itself). I'm also devastated because my dog represents my old family. The way we used to be. And now that last piece of my childhood is gone too.

Those who read my blog may say, "You always relate everything back to your parents' divorce." And that may be true. No, I'm not sitting around on my couch with a box of tissues and a half-eaten carton of ice cream crying constantly over my parents. But it's impacted my life forever. And I think things will always relate back to it. After all, divorce a monumental change that affects everything in its path.

I've been doing much better with everything and have a healthier perspective, but I still feel sadness, especially in situations like these. It's hard to believe how much my life has changed, even in the past 2 years. And now here's change again, knocking at my door.

Over the past few days I've learned that you just have to let yourself grieve. Whether your parents are divorced, you've lost a pet, whatever it may be. Let yourself feel what you're feeling and don't let anybody tell you any differently.


C said...

I'm so sorry - thank you for sharing your stories with us.

Steph said...

it's totally natural for any passing of a loved one (including a pet), or a hardship of any kind, to bring up feelings related to another type of loss... these are also especially related in your case because they are both parts of your childhood. It's rude and unfair for anyone to say or even think "oh, you always relate everything back to your parents' divorce." anyone who knows you knows that you are certainly not sitting around crying constantly over your parents! i think you are so brave... your blog is the voice of many people. I think part of the reason you've been doing much better is because you are talking through it and working through it. stay strong, xoxo, Steph

Marie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog :( My parents separated in late September... and just last weekend my 14 year old family dog needed to be put down. I too was completely devastated. Like you said, it was more than just the death of my dog, it was one more way in which my family was falling apart. I went home to help my mom with the dog, and after we put her down and came home it was just one more piece of my family that was missing. My dad is gone, my sister lives far away, and now the dog is gone too. I hope you are doing better now... thank you for writing your blog. I don't have anyone too relate to right now, and it's nice to know there are people out there that feel the same.

MVroom said...

Thank you so much for your comment, Marie! It's really helpful to know that I'm not alone in this.

Thank you, Steph -- I appreciate your support.

C -- you're fabulous. Thank you :)


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