Sunday, February 6, 2011

A New Future

I view blogs as a way to vent, let loose, express emotions, etc. I view them as a unique view into a person's innermost thoughts. So far I have shared some personal experiences of mine, but due to some serious things that are occuring in my life, I am going to get even more personal. Don't get me wrong--names will be protected, some details will not be shared, etc. After all, this is my family and I respect them enough not to go into details. But my general thoughts and feelings will be shared. And I hope that those of you who have gone through (or are currently going through) something similar will be able to identify with this blog. So here goes....

My parents have announced they are getting a divorce. It's shocking, even just writing it. So many emotions go along with this announcement. Anger, distrust, betrayal, sadness, despair, disappointment, etc. I'm 24 years old, which makes it even more difficult. For 24 years of my life, my family has been one way. And now I have to deal with the fact that things are going to be completely different for the rest of my life. It's a change I didn't ask for. It's very unfair.

I think when we reach a certain point in our lives, like high school or college, and our parents are still married, we feel invincible. If our parents stayed together this long, then doesn't it mean they'll be together for the rest of their lives? Sadly, this isn't always the case. Sometimes you realize your parents weren't happy for a long time. It makes you start questioning your childhood, certain events, basically everything you've known. You almost feel as if your life has been fake. Things were never really as happy as they seemed.

It's been a long journey to this point and it's just beginning in a way. I know I have a long road ahead, as do my siblings. And that frustrates me. When I thought about my future, this was never apart of it. Esp. in my newlywed stage of life. How discouraging it is to be a newlywed and watch your parents' 27-year marriage disintegrate.

I have many more thoughts to share with you all. I feel it's therapeutic for me to be sharing it. And I hope those of you that can relate to this will share your thoughts as well. It's my opinion that there are not enough resources out there for adult children of divorce. And even though it's a small step, I hope this blog will help change that. If you're reading this and know someone who is going through the same thing, I hope you'll share this entry with them. That's what this blog is for.

I only ask that we share our thoughts in consideration of others--I want this to be a comfortable, open, honest outlet for people to share what they're feeling and not be afraid of judgment.

Thank you for listening.

6 comments:

Melissa said...

you are a strong, beautiful woman and i am so proud to call you my sister. i admire you in so many ways! thank you for sharing your feelings, it's therapeutic to read and i'm sure is therapeutic for you to write. I LOVE YOU!

Anonymous said...

My roommates parents got divorced when we were freshman and he took it really hard too. It was hard for him to be the go between or to hear about his parents dating. I guess parents look at kids as friends and want to share their lives. You wouldn't talk about your new bf/ gf with your ex's sister because you know it'd be awkward for them. His parents didn't realize he still had one foot in the other parents life and found it really awkward.

Anonymous said...

Hey Michelle - This is Heidi (from Gordon). I'm not going to claim knowing anything about divorcing parents; but, I do know a little of what it's like to have life be one way for decades, and suddenly have it be another, harder way. And I know that there's really nothing anyone can say or qoute that makes it seem fair/easy/ok/better that it was your life that this happened too. But I do want you to know: that I'm sorry and praying for you AND that I think you absolutely should keep writing! Not even to post necessarily....just to get it all out and still (if you want to) be able to hit delete.

journeysofcommitment said...

Michelle, I'm so glad you found the courage to share this, and hopefully, to continue to share what you're going through. Parents separating and divorcing has all of a sudden become a very common discussion among many of my friends, and you're right, there are very few places to turn. Please keep sharing - yes, it's healing for you, but you are also encouraging others to break the vow of silence and talk about this. There is no need to hide this family experience - we need to support each other.

Cora said...

First, let me say I am so sorry. I have never gone through this experience, but my roommate did when she was just a little older than you. Discussion among my friends whose parent are apart suggest the older you are, the tougher it is. Keep talking to your friends about this, and I wish you and your family the best of luck.

MVroom said...

Thank you all for your encouragement! In a weird way it's nice to know others are in my shoes, even though I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.

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