Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Being Brave

I have been blown away by the positive response from friends, family and those who have read my blog. Everyone has been so supportive and encouraging. I appreciate it more than you can imagine.

Deciding whether or not to blog about my experiences was an extremely tough decision. I wasn't sure how people would respond and to be honest, it puts you in an extremely vulnerable position. But I knew I needed to share my experiences. Not only for me, but for all of the other people out there going through the same thing. And from what I've seen and read...there's a lot of us.

I hope this blog has given you some sort of encouragement, even if it's just the encouragement that you're not alone. But I also hope it encourages you to share your story. Not necessarily through a blog, but maybe it's simply telling a friend what you're going through. Or writing a letter to your parents (even if you never intend to send it). So many of us retreat inside ourselves after our parents announce their divorce. That's why I did. I felt ashamed and embarrassed that this was happening to my family. I didn't want others to know because I feared they would look down upon my family and judge us. I felt embarrassed since most of my friends have never experienced divorce. I felt like the black sheep...the one whose family couldn't stay intact.

You may be feeling this way, too. But trust me--don't retreat. You have to tell someone how you're feeling or it will eat you away inside. So pick a safe person (if you haven't read my blog entry about safe people, read it here) and share your story. We're not superhuman. We can't hold everything in without consequences. So even if it means being vulnerable, express what you're going through. It's hard, but it will help you process what's happening and begin to move into recovery much more quickly.

I'll end here by thanking you all for reading this blog. It is difficult to share my story and put myself out there for all the Internet world to see. But if I can show others they're not alone, then it's definitely worth it.

Want to talk to someone but don't want others to see your comments? Email me at acod16@gmail.com. It's a safe place, I promise.


Mademoiselle Michael said...

I think you've shown everyone that no matter what issue it is that you are going through, you must start talking about it. Even if it's not divorce, there are so many items that need addressing, and are in need of safe places to harbor those conversations. You are helping SO many people by sharing your story. But, you are also helping YOURself and YOUR marriage, YOUR future family and kids. Way to go girlfriend. ROCK ON!!!!!!!

wishful nals said...

you are so brave! such a great space to work through this and blogging provides such a great community! my dad's parents divorced when he was an adult. he's an only child and they live in france. it was tough. but he got through it. cheering for you! xo

MVroom said...

thank you both so much!!

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog and want to say thanks and keep up the good work. I just returned to my hometown after being away 6 years and a month later my mother has moved out of the family home after 40 years of marriage taking my younger brother and sister with her. It's been two weeks now and I can't believe how much deep grief and hurt I am feeling. People think that as an adult you should be able to cope a lot better but it just seems that I have lost my family and through refusing to take sides am becoming estranged from my mom and siblings. All those feelings of loss hurt abandonment and the impact on self confidence-it's good to know that I am not alone in feeling them.


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