Monday, April 18, 2011

Making My Own Memories

What a view, huh?

I'm back from my vacation and it was amazing! So restful...I feel completely recharged. My husband and I also got to spend some quality time together, which is so incredibly important right now. Being out on the ocean with nothing around us was so peaceful. It made all of my problems seem so far away. The issues I've had with my parents' divorce no longer mattered while I was out on the water. Now if only I could keep that going once I'm back to reality, right?

I am surprised that I handled things on the cruise so well. To be honest, it could have been a difficult time as it brought back memories of many family cruises we've taken when I was younger (I owe my love of cruises to my parents). Our cruises were always such fun, happy times (although there was always an underlying layer of tension that I never really understood or realized until now). I could've easily focused on those memories of my family the way it used to be and allowed them to put a damper on my trip. Instead, I realized that I was on my own cruise with my husband, making our own memories. This is our time together. It's not about my family or what's going on with my parents. It's about us.

That's the key. As an ACOD, you have to learn to make your own memories. So often I focus on what used to be-- those memories are often sparked by some random action, photo, etc. They can crop up anywhere at anytime. I don't even have to be thinking about my parents' divorce until suddenly, I'm reminded of them. And those memories have the power to cripple me. They can literally bring me to my knees, crying for what once was and will never be. But I've had to learn (and believe me, I'm still learning) that it's time to make my own memories in life. Memories that don't involve the sadness surrounding my parents' current situation. Memories that I can look back on. Memories that show me I was still able to find joy admist the toughest time in my entire life.

I encourage you all to make your own memories too. No matter what you're going through, take the time to make happy memories for yourselves. You deserve it. And despite a situation that may seem hopeless at times, your life can still be happy. It won't be the same as it once was.

But that's what new memories are for, right?

Want to share your opinion or talk to another ACOD? Email me at

1 comment:

Caz said...

You are so, so right - the importance of making new memories cannot be overstated. I'm so glad to see you and your hubs reaching out and being intentional about doing fun things together, for eachother and for yourselves, especially in such a hard time. Your pictures are amazing!


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