So last night the hubs and I had a fight. It wasn't a huge one, but it was upsetting enough that neither one of us was speaking to the other when we got home. As I was unpacking from our weekend with his family, I felt the silence eat away at me. So instead of waiting for him to make the first move, I spoke. That was all it took for us to start talking and resolve this issue.
I struggle whenever my husband and I have a fight. To me, the fights are a flashback to my parents. They fought alot over the years and especially at the end of their marriage. I'm so afraid to end up like them (another issue I need to get over), that sometimes I equate fighting to their separation/divorce. But that's not true. I actually think arguments are a healthy part of marriage--as long as you communicate and resolve them. The fact that my husband and I didn't stay silent when we went to bed was huge. We talked things out, something many couples who get divorced never do.
It's going to be an ongoing battle for me to stop worrying that I'll turn out like my parents. But last night was evidence that my husband and I are moving in the right direction. We're communicating. And that's all I can ask for right now.
As always, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.