Friday, June 3, 2011

An Unplanned Hiatus

Well, I took an unplanned hiatus for about a month or so, but I'm back now! A lot has been going on, some good and some bad. I have found out that my parents' divorce will be finalized in about 90 days or so. Very sad, but good in some ways too. Why? It's the end to a long journey for all of us...a journey that has been extremely hellish and has wreaked havoc on everyone's emotional state. Frankly, I'm ready for this nightmare to be over. And finalizing the divorce represents that end.

But on the other hand, it also represents a new beginning. It's the beginning to a new life for me...a life I never imagined I'd have. I know I will be struggling with my parents' divorce for the rest of my life. It won't always devastate me the way it used to, but it does bring me sadness. And I don't think that sadness will ever go away. I'll have to deal with potentially new people coming into the picture and potentially uncomfortable situations between the family. When holidays, birthdays, graduations, etc. come around, there will always be a part of me that will long for the way things used to be. It will also be so difficult to see my parents together, but not together. I can't fathom what that will look like -- after all, I've seen them together for nearly 25 years.

So, with a deep breath, I start to move forward and piece back together my fragmented life. I have no idea what lies ahead, but you better believe I'll keep you all informed of this journey!

Can anyone else speak to what it was like after your parents' divorce was finalized? Were you happy, sad, relieved, all of the above? Did things get better or worse? Would love to hear from you all! Please leave a comment or email me at acod16@gmail.com. Could use all the encouragement I can get :)

1 comment:

V said...

Weeelll. It won't sound like encouragement but I mean it to be. For me, things weren't more comfortable until about a year and a half after my dad got remarried. The remarriage bit is rough for everyone I think, but it was particularly bad for me because my dad used me emotionally as a surrogate spouse growing up and I was suddenly displaced.

I think the thing that's hard here is the scope of all the CHANGE. And that doesn't settle until one or both parents are remarried, and then the adjustment period to that. THEN things stop switching all the time. Then you start to know what to expect. When my parents' divorce went through, it was just a day that something came in the mail. I thought it would feel bigger somehow, but it didn't. There was more road to walk before finding a peaceful place, but I can absolutely say I am coming out of this now. Hang in there.

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