Monday, August 8, 2011

No Love Lost on SEPTA

Here's a funny blog post for all of you this time around...and yes, this actually happened to me.

I knew something was wrong the moment I stepped on the train. There was screaming. And you’re not supposed to hear screaming at 7:30 in the morning. You’re supposed to hear silence. The sound of people attempting to wake up and start their day. Some aren’t even awake yet. But you’re definitely not supposed to hear screaming.

At first I couldn’t tell where the screaming was coming from. The girl who was emitting those horrible noises was crouched low in her seat so you could barely see the top of her head. Therefore it took me awhile to locate the source. Once I did, I realized we were all in for a wild ride.

The girl was barely 20 and was dressed in ripped clothing. Her hair was covering her eyes and she had a nasty sneer on her face. The guy sitting next to her, taking the brunt of the abuse (and in my opinion, was asking for it with some of the comments he was making) was also very young, but a little bit more pulled together.

I was sitting in the seat in front of these two yahoos and it quickly became apparent that they were having some sort of a lover’s quarrel. It went something like this (only envision screaming):

“You don’t care about me AT ALL!” – the girl

“What are you talking about? Lower your voice!” – boy

“Here I am, having to go into the hospital for SURGERY and you’re not even being supportive!” – crazy chick

“How am I not being supportive?”

“How dare you say those things to me, you [bleep bleep...use your imagination]!” – foul-mouthed girl

Silence on the boy’s end. Smart move, dude.

“We are OVER. Do you hear me?” – girl

“Fine. Like I care.” – guy (not such a smart move)

Girl starts crying. Lot’s of crying. Then the back of my seat starts moving and I realize she’s hitting him. Oh lord…first the yelling, now physical abuse? I looked around quickly to see if there were any young children in the vicinity and there weren’t. Whew.

“When this train stops at Suburban, I’m leaving you. Don’t even try to follow me. I’ll go to SURGERY by myself.” – hysterical girl

“Stop that. You’re not going to walk all the way there by yourself. Besides, I’ll just follow you anyway.”

“No you won’t. Do you hear me? No you [bleeping] WON’T.”

At this point, the train was creeping along as slowly as possible. All I wanted to do was get away from these nut jobs, but I was at the mercy of SEPTA. Then, as we were about to head to Suburban, the train doors wouldn’t close. All that ringing, the lovestruck teenagers’ yelling…it was too much for a Tuesday morning. I almost slapped both of them and said, “Knock that off. Knock that off RIGHT NOW.” But to be honest, the girl seemed a bit unhinged and I wasn’t sure what she was capable of. In this situation, it’s best to be quiet. Even the train conductors were following this rule – not a single one came around to check tickets during the entire ride.

Eventually we made it. I have no idea if they actually went to her surgery together or not. Frankly, I don’t care. There are so many other things wrong with this picture.

Is it any surprise that so many people end up getting divorced? If they all start out like that couple, then I'm not surprised at all.

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