Friday, August 5, 2011

Couples Counseling

Two very scary words. But that's exactly where my husband and I are at right now.

Are we having serious problems? Are we fighting constantly? No and no. But we've had quite a rough year and I believe it's important to be proactive.

So we're going to begin going to counseling. As you all know, I've been going by myself. Now I think it's time for my husband to go with me. He's been through alot this year too and sometimes I forget that. Being my support has been hard on him. He loves being there for me, but it's still difficult.

It was hard to admit that we're going to start counseling. I mean, it's only been a year since we've been married. At first, I felt like a failure. But then a dear friend told me (you know who you are) that there's no shame in counseling. The people that avoid it are the ones that experience the problems. And I'll do anything I can to avoid being in the place my parents are at right now.

Some of you may be wondering why I've chosen to share something so personal on this blog. I'm sharing it because I know the stigma associated with counseling and I hope to break it. You don't have to be having problems to get counseling. Everyone needs counseling at some point in their lives (even those who won't admit it). I hope that by sharing my story I may inspire someone considering counseling to go for it, whether you're married or not. It's an investment in your future. And after what all of us ACOD's have been through, it'd be nice to feel normal wouldn't it?

If you're thinking about counseling and want to talk more about it offline, email me at


C said...

I know a couple that treats counseling as a form of Maintenance. As you get your car inspected and checked every few thousand miles, so they hit marital counseling every once in a while, whether they think they're having issues or not. Some times they have found that there really were other things going on that needed to be addressed; other times, they found that they were just fine. This same couple also vowed that whenever one wanted to do couples counseling, the other would go - there would be no discussion or arguing, the other would simply go.

I hope to make the same vow to my husband, someday. Counseling is critical and so useful - not just for "the crazies" but for everyone, because we all have Stuff. There is no shame in any kind of counseling - it's just one more way to learn about yourself and how to be as healthy as you can. I love this post, and I love that you're being proactive!

Alli said...

I <3 you

Anonymous said...

I think this is awesome. So many couples I know participate in counseling as a way to actively participate in their marriage and PREVENT problems from happening, rather than waiting for them to start. Fabulous. Besides, if health insurance covers "mental health," please let us all use those benefits to the maximum :-).

MVroom said...

Thanks, ladies! C -- love the car analogy. Esp. given my last name :)

V said...

Hi Michelle, we have started counseling together as well. I'm going to be blogging about it as soon as school starts up again here. Good for you guys. I hope you are finding it really productive.


Alice said...

Thank you. Your blog is helping me so much. I think you're incredibly awesome for being brave enough to do this. Hopefully one day I can move on too and stop pushing everyone away out of pure fear I will end up hurting as badly in the future as I do now.
All the best x

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