Monday, July 9, 2012
Do you ever wonder what your life would be like had your parents chosen differently? Perhaps chosen to get counseling early on or chosen to put more effort into a floundering marriage. What would the result have been? Would they have stayed together or would the inevitable divorce simply have been delayed?
I find these thoughts weighing on my mind recently. I don't believe anyone's marriage is meant to end. But through a series of choices, made over years and years together, some people find themselves with a stranger. Someone they no longer recognize and don't want to be with anymore.
What if my parents had recognized these signs sooner? They married young, despite their doubts and had a lifetime ahead of them. What if they had put in the time and effort needed to cultivate a strong marriage? My life would be so different now. I would be so different.
And if my parents hadn't divorced, how would my marriage have fared? Would it have been stronger because they were together and provided me with the support I needed? Or would my marriage have failed, because I didn't learn to recognize the pitfalls of a struggling marriage and subsequently, divorce?
We all make choices everyday, whether we know it or not. Some don't impact our lives in the long-term. But every choice has a consequence behind it. And for my parents, the consequences of their choice to divorce has altered everyone's lives forever. I just can't stop wondering if that all could have been avoided by a simple action, one that took them in a different direction, away from divorce.
I wish desperately they would have made that choice and stayed together. Not just for me and my siblings, but for each other. And for our entire family. I wish they would have seen how much hurt and pain would come as a result of their choices.
Some days I just want a do-over.
If you can relate, feel free to leave a comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.