Monday, March 14, 2011

Never Say Never

I have a confession to make. I used to look at people from divorced families and feel thankful that was me. I've actually uttered the words, "I'm glad that will never be my family." I sounded just like a spoiled brat, right?

Years ago, a friend of mine was going through the same situation. Her parents were getting divorced and it was very messy. I remember sitting with her in my room, listening to her vent. And I remember feeling a bit high and mighty, like I was immune to what she was going through because my parents were still happily (or so I thought) married. Looking back, I realize how silly and naiive I truly was.

You can never say never. Anything can happen in life. Sometimes the couples you think are the most happy may have the most serious problems. No one is immune to divorce. And that's what's so scary about it. We all want to feel protected, like it'll never happen to our family. But sadly, there is no guarantee. There is no magical age, where upon reaching it, your parents will be immune to divorce. I've heard about 70 and 80 year old couples getting divorced. You just never know.

So what do you do? Do you live your life always in fear of your parents separating or getting divorced? Of your family being torn apart? Of course not. You live your life as normal, feeling thankful that your parents are still together but remembering not to judge others who aren't as fortunate. After all, that could be you.

I guess this goes for anything in life, not just divorce. It's important to sympathize with others, remembering that someday you may find yourself in a similar situation. I regret ever looking down on anyone who's parents were divorced. It wasn't fair. And the thought of someone doing that to me (and I believe some may look down on my family) is upsetting. But it also makes me realize how lucky I am to have found a few people who don't judge. Who look past my parents' mistakes (even when I can't) and recognize that they are still human beings who deserve love and respect. Those people, my friends, are few and far between. And only recently, through my own experiences, have I learned to become one of those people.

1 comment:

Alli said...

I used to do it too. I did it even still just a few months ago, without realizing and not knowing it was deep seated judgment. "Knowing" my family was safe and happy. But you are right, no one ever knows and it can throw you. I have never felt such whiplash, disappointment and confusion. Thanks for always being there for me when I need to talk and you know I'm always here for you! <3

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