Tuesday, January 24, 2012
When Parents Become Strangers
It's astonishing to me how two people who once knew each another so intimately and who created a family together can suddenly become like strangers. In fact, that was probably one of the most unnerving things about my parents' divorce. I watched as they grew more and more distant and soon it was like they were roommates. It reached a point where they were no longer fighting anymore...just existing. It was then that I realized they were close to the end of their marriage. And I couldn't do a single thing about it.
This is tough to swallow when you're young and your parents divorce, but it's crazy to see them act like strangers when you've watched them together for 20+ years. Sometimes I look at pictures of my family and can hardly believe my parents were ever even together. Things are so different now and they're so far removed from one another. In some ways it feels like they were never together but in other ways it feels strange that they're not. Does that even make any sense? I still pinch myself sometimes to see if this is all a joke. And everytime I have a dream about my family, my parents are together. Maybe my subconcious hasn't quite accepted it all yet.
There have been times where I want to shake both of my parents and shout, "You were once in love! You once gave a damn about one another! Don't you have any of those feelings left anymore?" But then I remember that my parents were dysfunctional together and that watching two people lose touch with one another is not a life I want to lead. I want to see my parents happy. And if that's not together, then I guess I'll have to learn to deal.
Were things strange for you when your parents began acting like strangers? Did it happen before or after they divorced? Or maybe your parents had a smooth transition and make an effort to be friends. Either way, they're not together as they once were and that's just weird. Would love to hear how you coped with it all. Feel free to leave a comment or email firstname.lastname@example.org.